I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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