Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
then he tried to convert me to islam
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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