You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
My liver just had a heart attack.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
