i just google imaged poop.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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