I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
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