i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
