If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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