If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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