If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
