You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
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One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
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The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
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