He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
