Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Randomize
