Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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