You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
