dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Randomize