I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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