He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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