we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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