Already got asked if we're dating
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Randomize