Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
we're making bets on your personal life
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Randomize
