peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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