Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Who wears a wallet chain?!
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Are we still banned from the library?
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Randomize
