grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
