jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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