Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
