The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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