Don't make out with my wife yet
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
