I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
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