I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
