Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
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