Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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