after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
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