Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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