I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
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