So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
