My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
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her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
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WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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