no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
