You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Floor bacon is actually really good
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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