I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
