so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
