id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Randomize
