She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
