It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize