"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
