Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
