Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
