i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
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