I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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