We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
