i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Randomize
