After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
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