oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Randomize