Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Randomize
