there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Randomize
