It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
