we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Randomize
