Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Where are you guys?
Drunk
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
