Will you blow on my dice?
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
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