Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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