dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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