Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
