Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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