New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Randomize
