the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Randomize
