South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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