are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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